I've been doing some 'relationship counselling' with a friend whose husband recently left her for a newer model. She lives in another state, so we have been doing this via email or phone... and I think we may be getting somewhere... finally.
Giselle is funny, pretty and smart... just the kind of girl who attracts losers like Leo.
I got her to write down a list of reasons why their not being together is a good thing, and after she read it back to herself out loud... she laughed and said 'thank fark for that, eh? I'm thinking she has finally realised how much better off she actually is... funny that.
I'm publishing this with her permission, consider it part of the healing process... and besides, I find it funny that he really believes he 'deserves better'.
Leo... I hope your new lady-friend is reading this, it may save her years of annoyance:
1) He snores really loudly and won't admit it, keeps her awake all night
2) He owes her money for various failed 'business ventures' - LOTS of money
3) He licks the lid on every food item he opens - thens puts it back on
4) He wears the same socks 3-4 days in a row
5) He farts in public - loudly - and blames her
6) He thinks leaving skiddies in the toilet for her to clean up is okay
7) He believes housework is 'women's business'
8) Coming home drunk at 4am and expecting sex is the norm
9) Even after 7 years of marriage, going 'dutch' is still expected in restaurants
10) Not showering for 3 days then expecting 'oral pleasures' on demand
11) He doesn't have a credit card because nobody will give him one
12) A woman who earns more than he does obviously 'whored' her way into the job
13) Eating the last of anything is a man's right
14) He throws meals that he doesn't like at the kitchen wall
15) He believes that being 169cm and weighing near on 200kg is not unattractive
16) Body hair? Where DOESN'T Leo have body hair?
17) Likes to sit in traffic, pick his nose and then wipe it on the side mirror
18) Birthday presents... what are they?
19) Telling your wife that she 'used to be hot' on a daily basis is acceptable
20) Telling your wife that at 58kg she is 'fat' on a daily basis is acceptable
Onya, Leo - you're a star.
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