My newest bestie Clare (see previous posts) has invited me to come over to the U.S of A, so I can experience a truly spiritual Christmas with her family and friends.
Clare has offered such enticements as non-alcoholic egg nog, REAL ginger bread men (as opposed to ourwardly gay ones, maybe?), songs of praise and a supportive family situation. Dear god almighty....
In true 'Clareish', she has once again reminded me of my life of sin and various other socially unacceptable habits I have, such as not being able to crochet and apparently I dress and drink like a whore, and has offered to help me find my way back to god... starting with spending Christmas at her home.
Well, thanks for the invite sweetie, but I intend on having grandpappy drag the trailer down closer to the river, start up the still and go and shoot me a few possums to cook up. Momma's gonna drop a shift at the brothel so she can eat with us, and baby brother Bubba will be out on parole by then as well.
Ahhhh... gotta love Christ-e-mass, eh?
Oh, Clare... please drop the little Angels and flashing Choose God emoticons... they make me want to toss my cookies...
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