Well, it seems Clare has been stalking me again.
Just received a lovely email from her and, as usual, her pearls of wisdom have jumped the strand and are now rolling under the lounge.
Clare has been thinking and has come to the conclusion that the Queensland floods, New Zealand earthquake and Japan's quake and tsunami - and my errant nose - is because we are all sinners and it is god 'teaching us a lesson'. Okay Clare, you asked for it...
First up, if we are all sinners and god is mad at us then we must ALL have a massive line up of deities knocking on our doors. Allah, Krishna, Buddha and all the gang must be angry too. The old 'thou shalt believe only in me' is spread across the board Clare, so how come EVERYONE is not smite down on a regular basis by the team that they don't believe in? Considering the variety of beliefs going on out there, the average trip to the shop would be a perilous exercise in dodging lightening strikes.
If anyone should be royally pissed off, it's Gaeia (or Mother Earth to those paternalistic blinded believers of good ole' Joe Smith). You seem to forget that we stand on a living, breathing organism and not some fluffy cloud carried around the universe by a bunch of good looking blokes wearing white togas and wings... over here we call that 'Mardi Gra'.
You mentioned in your email that Darwin is responsible for defiling the love of god and is now burning in the bowels of hell for all eternity. Well, at least he will be well fed, Clare. There are lots of dinosaur carcasses down that way and he'd be having a hell of a BBQ - Fred Flintstone would be proud.
The good people of these countries are having a terrible enough time of it without your insane rantings landing in my InBox. Have you not yet worked out that all you are is a source of amusement to my friends and I? Maybe you should grab yourself a fuzzy wig, a big pair of shoes and a red lipstick next time you are at WalMart.
You banter on about god, goodwill, love and forgiveness... yet you spout hatred and vile lectures on how god will wipe everyone out. So much for your all forgiving and all loving god... it appears your personal version is just a spiteful and vindictive little brat. Makes me think of the Far Side comic of the kid burning ants with a magnifying glass, it was labelled 'God as a Child'.
If you wish to live in fear of the Almightiest of Boogey Men, Clare... you go right ahead, but don't forget to concentrate on your knitting, plait your hair and make sure your knees are covered... last thing you want is for Ole' Cranky Pants to smite you down.
And when you say your prayers at night, consider yourself lucky that he shows mercy on the mentally ill.
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