Busted...

We all do things automatically... stuff you do every day without even thinking about it.

If it's something 'anti-social' - like scratching, picking your nose or adjusting yourself - you take a quick look around to make sure nobody is watching before proceeding. However... why do we throw caution out the window (literally) when we are in our cars?

On my trips home from work each morning, I'm amazed at the amount of people I see scratching, picking and preening, totally forgetting they are out in public. They wouldn't do it standing on the footpath or even in the middle of the road, yet they will do it in their car.

I found out just how public doing stuff in the 'privacy' of your own car can be this morning... and I will NEVER do it again!

Sitting in the traffic at a set of lights, I was waiting to turn right. The traffic was banked up both ways as either heading north or south will still get you onto a freeway heading into the city.

I was contemplating just how much the hot cross buns I had eaten earlier were bloating my stomach, when the need to 'pass wind' came on. Without a second thought - and as I had done on numerous occassions due to being the only person in the car - I decided I'd simply let one rip.

I lifted myself off the seat slightly, twisted a little for maximum effect and gave the appropriate facial expressions of a job well done. Excellent... I felt instantly better and relax back into the seat.

The 'bip bip bip bip bip' of a horn beside me from the traffic banked up in the opposite direction brought me back to reality...

I looked over and there are two council workers in a white Hi-Ace truck, hanging out the window laughing and applauding...

... oh... dear... god...

Realising that my fart had not gone unnoticed, I did the only thing I could... I rested my head on the steering wheel and pulled my hair around my face. I was mortified! I hoped that the traffic would simply move on, but no, it sat still for a few minutes more allowing my tormentors the thrill of watching me slide as deep into my sheep skin seatcovers as I could - all the while yelling, honking and giving me the big 'thumbs up'.

I started laughing and, figuring I might as well try and save the last shred of dignity I had left, I turned to face them and gave them the sweetest smile I could muster. The driver just grinned and gave me an 'okay' sign... then they drove off.

Slinking home, I told my other half what had happened and he just burst out laughing... I will never live this one down it seems.