Figuring that I really need to get some exercise happening, I bought one of those Malibu Pilates Chairs you see on TV late at night... late at night when people who live on Tim Tams and Lattes are generally gathered in front of the TV waiting for a miracle cure for their obesity and acne.
After watching the DVD a few times, I figured I had the whole thing worked out and proceeded to stretch myself into various positions with funny-sounding names, much to the amusement of the other half. I tried this for a few days, but was left feeling the DVDs didn't really get to the heart of the whole 'joining of body and mind' thing that Pilates is touted for. So, I trotted off to do a Pilates class, hoping to better educate myself in the use of my new toy at home.
First up... people that do Pilates on a regular basis (and who don't live on Tim Tams) look like greyhounds. Lean... racey... fast-looking.
Me? I look more like a Staffy...
So, here I was looking like an escapee from a K-Mart 50% sale in my t-shirt and trackie dacks... surrounded by a bunch of whippet-like ladies in yoga pants and lycra. My first and fatal mistake was my mispronounciation of the word Pilates. Apparently calling it 'Py-lates' is not a good way to start your lesson.
You could literally hear the whole room gasp. The instructor - a rather lanky woman by the name of Ariel (pronounced 'Arrr-reeee-arrrrrl') literally launched at me spitting 'It is pronounced 'Pee-Lar-Tays' darling... 'Pee-Lar-Tays'! She threw her chin in the air and stalked off as only an ex-ballerina can... and then ignored me for the rest of the class.
Lucky for me, another 'Staffy' was in the class (her name was Sarah... pronounced as just 'Sarah') and we (well, just me actually) managed to get through the class without hurting or further embarassing ourselves. I made a mental note that this would be my first and last 'Pee-Lar-Tays' class and that I would simply have to pay more attention to my DVDs and do a little Googling.
After the class, I asked 'just Sarah' why she put up with this crap and she simply said the classes are convenient, close to home and got her away from screaming kids... and she had dropped around 14kgs to boot. You've gotta be happy with that.
She also pointed out that there is a Gloria Jeans across the road for 'post-class' recuperation...
Oh... Gloria Jeans is pronounced 'Oh Mah Gawd I Need A Muffin With My Latte'...
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