Mmmmm... what is it about bacon that drives people mad? Is it the smell of succulent rashers frying in the pan? The taste of that salty, bacony goodness? Is it the crispy, crunchy texture of the rind as it snaps in your mouth?
Dammit, I simply cannot go past the stuff. If I had to define a food that I would crawl over broken glass for, bacon would be it. Regardless of what health regime I am inflicting upon myself, I must have bacon. When I am being really good, I grill it... but when I am being really bad it's fried and garnished with mozarella cheese... my second favourite food of choice.
Such is the effect bacon has on people, even the mere suggestion of it can have people running for their nearest deli. This was the case about a week ago, when a work colleague and I stumbled upon the topic in the last hour of our shift. I can't even remember how it started, but my colleague just casually mentioned how good bacon was and it went on from there.
What ensued was a marathon discussion of the virtues of bacon, which then escalated to an ever-widening trap that ensnared those that walked into it. We hit upon an idea - a social experiment, if you would - and as staff began to arrive, we would simply look them in the eye and say 'bacon'. Their faces would change and they would respond with something like 'yeah... that's what I'd like for breakfast, bacon! Damn, bacon... where can I get a bacon and egg roll?'
There was no 'why did you just say bacon?' or 'bacon? what do you mean, bacon?'... it seems that people are just programmed to buy bacon when the command is made.
It was like launching a plague and by 8am, we had just about everyone in the office estolling the virtues of bacon and arranging for someone to pop down the road and grab a shitload of egg and bacon rolls.
What other food can create such instant hysteria? Chocolate tends to be just a mid-afternoon or late-night fixation, but bacon transcends time and space. Slap a rasher of bacon on the grill and within seconds you have a room full of people asking what you are cooking... it doesn't happen with steak or chicken... only the magic of bacon has this power over the common man.
Don't believe me? Check out the Royal Bacon Society website: www.royalbaconsociety.com, they even have a pattern for knitting yourself a bacon scarf! Their slogan of "Bacon is Meat Candy" says it all...
So, when the clock hit 08:00 and my shift ended, I raced down to the local Woollies and purchased a big-ass pack of bacony wonderment... and a big-ass packet of grated mozerella cheese...
... I can stop any time I want, really... I can...
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